You're Doing It Wrong: Tossing Salad
When it comes to eating ass, you have to be prepared and learn the skills needed. Check out our 10 tips for proper rimming.
guide to rimming
Unless you're an experienced rimmer who's too busy with your head stuck up someone's asshole already, you've been reading a whole lot about 2014 being christened the year of the booty. Unlike those essays, think pieces, and love songs about the culo craze, this is a tutorial on how to eat the booty properly. Most of us have dabbled in the booty, but the minute someone talks about eating it, faces look sus and folks start to question. Those people don't know what a good tongue on the hole can do (or how good it feels to have their own backside feasted upon.) If you think you don't like giving it or receiving it, it's because you're doing it wrong, and here's why.
You Didn't Keep It Clean
Nobody wants leftovers when it comes to tossing salad. You can wipe all you want, but best practice requires soap and water. Remnants are not desired. If you can’t handle a good thorough clean, at least get yourself some baby wipes and run a couple past your ass. You don’t need to be leaving anyone with something that makes their stomach ache the next day. If you’re thinking of trying this out on your partner, plan wisely. Don’t ask them to go clean up, just do it when you know they're prepared.
You Forgot To Trim
There’s a lot of discussion and disagreement about the bush on the front side. Some people trim, others don't. But in the back, nobody wants a forest to be rummaging through. That can lead to a lot of extras being left behind for unwanted discovery. Hopefully you don’t find a hairy ass. It's best to lead by example and groom regularly. Cut that shit back.
You Fail To Freshen Up
You don't need to use Clorox, but there are ways to freshen up. Don’t think you need to run out to the local waxing shop to see who has a bleaching service, but it might be worth closing your bedroom door from time to time and bending over with a mirror to see what it looks like back there (especially if you’re seeing skid marks on those skivvies.) Do it in private and no one will know. And if you think you look a little discolored, discreetly find a local shop that can freshen you up. Just tell someone you’re going in for a "whitening." Hopefully they’ll think you mean for your teeth.
You Don't Tease It
Before you go in for the gusto, tease the butt. You’re working your way around your partner's body everywhere else, reach around and let them know you’re interested. And don’t be surprised if they do the same to you. This lets each of you delicately test the waters and see how your partner responds. You might feel a tightening of their body, and you might want to tighten up the first time they try it on you. But, loosen up. Let it go. Once you feel how good a light rubbing of the sensitive butt can be, you’ll be more likely to let them take it further, and they’ll likely let you work your way all around their body too.
You Use Your Teeth
This is not an area to bite. You sure don’t want to be bitten, so leave your teeth in your mouth when you’re trying to entertain your lover. The delicacy of the butt is what makes this enjoyable. There are a lot of nerves back there. Go slow, go easy, and remember: No Teeth.
You Don't Spread It Wide Enough
You know how to grab a hold of an ass and squeeze it tightly. Part of the enjoyment is the overall experience. You need to make room to get your tongue where you need it to go and in doing so, let your partner feel your strength through your hands. When they're looking to pleasure you, think about it in the reverse. They might not be as strong as you, so, again loosen up. Give it a chance. And, if you’re really down with it, help out by holding your legs back a little. Be prepared to not want them to stop once they start.
You Stick It Before You Lick It
There are a lot of folks who want to skip the appetizer and go for the main course way too quickly. It's easy to just want to get your fill when you're that hungry. But, before you go trying to get that good feeling by selfishly satiating your own desire, share the love a little and prep. You’ve likely learned your lesson on the front side by this point—if you prepare "it" a little before, it’s more enjoyable for everyone. That goes for the back-end, too. The same skills that have been mastered with your tongue on the front are likely to benefit both sides. Savor your dinner, don't just order dessert.
You Forget to Come Up For Air
Don't suffocate in the booty. You'll be working hard down there, trying to breathe through your nose as your lips and tongue do the work. Take a minute to catch your breath and make it about your partner. When you do so, it doesn't seem like you're overworked or giving up. Ask them how it feels, if they're enjoying it, and what else you can do to please them. And then, take a deep breath like you're about to jump in an Olympic-size pool and try to swim the whole length under water and go back down for more.
You've Got Gas
Gas does not belong. Let it rip before you get together. Take a pill to stop it. Do what you need to do. Farting in someone’s face might be the worst thing that could happen (well, the precursor to the worst) and it’s easily avoidable. So, if eating butt is something you’re considering, limit the amount of Mexican food you have and stay away from the beans.
You Ignore the Details
This is something that should already be happening. We’ve got to the point now where hopefully everyone has realized eating butt isn't that out of the ordinary. And hopefully you’ve also come to understand how good it can feel. You have some pointers, which you can show your partner, rather than tell them. And when it comes to the back-end and a little extra enjoyment, it's another great time for hands on the balls. Like usual, a little extra help in that area adds a lot of extra sensitivity that leads to that full-body good feeling.