A man who received regular paychecks for the sole task of fielding questions about America's foremost pathological liar resigned Friday. Sean Spicer, though his official title was White House Press Secretary, is perhaps best known for his work as an endless source of inspiration to Saturday Night Live writers and his stint as Man in Bunny Suit. Additionally, he liked gum.
Spicer's resignation was reported by the Associated Press Friday, citing "two people with knowledge of the decision." A short time later, the AP reported the White House had selected Sarah Huckabee Sanders as Spicer's replacement and Anthony Scaramucci as the new communications director.
In all seriousness, imagine how much gum Spicer has probably swallowed today.
During the White House era of his existence, Spicer garnered widespread derision for a multitude of actions that many of us—prior to Trumpism—never would have predicted happening in the goddamn White House, of all places.
For example, Spicer failed to correctly pronounce the name "Justin."
Spicer also broke the cardinal rule of speaking: Never make a Hitler comparison, especially one that attempts to cast him in a complimentary light. Dumbass.
Remember when Spicer tweeted apparent gibberish, more than once?
Also, way back in 2013, Spicer actually took time out of his day to call a mystery person a coward for daring to unfollow him on Twitter.
As much fun as I'm having looking back on crucial elements in the deterioration of a nation, I will now hand the steering wheel (to a car that has a brick strapped to the gas pedal and is headed straight for a cliff overlooking a bottomless ocean) to Twitter:
Inevitably, the bunny jokes have also started rolling in:
In Spicer's honor, I'm going to lie to every single person I talk to today. Sorry, Mom.