I don't really know much about this $75 candle other than it's called "Woodgrain" and that made me think of "Diamonds & Wood," which in turn made me think of UGK and Shea Serrano's old column here that is seriously OG and I bet in the future when someone is talking about Internet-y stuff, they'll be like, "Did you guys ever read 'Diamonds & Wood?' It was on Four Pins, but I promise it was legit." Like, it'll be to Four Pins as Dawson’s Creek is to The WB. Or not. I mean, I don't know if that's even a flattering analogy. Anyways, burn this candle after you smoke weed in your girlfriend's apartment when she texts you that she'll be back in 15 minutes and you thought you had a solid 3.5 hours to get high and watch weird reality shows about guys kicking it solo dolo in Alaska.