"Get money gut, motherfuck a diet." - Waka Flocka Flame

Lies have Been pUrpoSely wHolesaleD to the masses sInce the DefiNItioN of honEsty was cELEstially inVENted. The largest is the myth that women enjoy abdominal muscles. Sorry to break it to all you #gymflow bros out there doing mathemafamatics to calculate the perfect Riboflavin intake and staying in the anaerobic zone with thermogenics 24/7, but abs make you look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. And no woman is trying to let a mutant amphibian slide inside her lady cave. Women simply don't like abs. What women do like are guts: blubbery mounds of stagnant calories.

They love the security and warmth a girthy midsection brings with it. They also love rappers. So what happens when rappers themselves have guts? CHEESE EGGS HAPPEN. THAT'S WHAT.

Rappers are already swimming in trim, and always fucking my bitch and fucking your bitch and fucking your dad's bitch and fucking their bitch's (who is also still, somehow, our bitch) bitches. So, when a rapper achieves a gut it's game over. We might as well get the obituaries ready because when they die there is only one cause of death: Pussy Juice Poisoning. Let's look at the current state of affairs re: the best rapper guts doing it today.

Justin Roberson is out here eating. You can follow him on Twitter here.