If you don't own Birkenstocks by now, you're either slipping or OK with the idea of being basic. Whether you're a fan of the clogs or the sandals, the once hippie footwear is having its extended moment as evidenced by Michael Kors's recent F/W 14 presentation. That said, the black on black Birkenstock colorway is an elusive, mythical beast, but, thanks to Zara, you can have yourself a pair of murdered out joints for just $60. Plus, they don't have those cumbersome buckles, making them actually some sort of Birk/Nike slide combo. Now, if you're apprehensive about buying women's footwear, then we respectfully request you quit being such a little bitch about it. Those long tees you've been rocking for months now are basically dresses, homie.