Are all of your friends shitheads? Do you want to clean house and start fresh before you hit the big 3-0? Of course you do. But friends are hard to get rid of. They leech onto you and are all like, “Listen to my most intimate secrets that I'm going to tell you because I trust you.” Gross dude. I don’t need to know stuff about you.

So, how do you get rid of them? Well, lucky for you, I've got this handy list of the different ways you can totally lose all of your friends for when you are in desperate need of purging your entire social circle.

Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.