I write articles about all sorts of issues, from relationships to movies to life. People often say, "Why don’t you guys keep your articles to menswear," or "This isn’t bad, but menswear is better," or "If you slit your wrists, nobody would go to your funeral, you stupid, worthless motherfucker."

Well, truth be told, I don’t know a whole lot about menswear. I am essentially the janitor of Four Pins. They keep me around to take care of the things that nobody else wants to. They tell me to kill the rats, so I kill the rats. And hey, it turns out that I actually like killing rats. But I figured I'd throw you all a bone for once and write an article about menswear. It's a fashion article from my point of view—the real questions I've been pondering and been too afraid to ask. So hold onto your ascots, shit's about to get really real i.e. pathetic.

Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.