What the fucking fuck WWD/M Magazine? I don’t know if we can be friends anymore if you continue to publish horribleness like the article my editor just forced me to read. Normally I avoid any and all "regular guy gets a cool guy makeover" articles because they are hot garbage. But I am technically obliged to read and record my reactions to anything sent my way. It’s the burden of being employed, but I wrestle with that yoke bravely. I don’t understand people that freely admit to not caring about clothing. No one admits that they don’t care about food because you would sound like a fucking psychopath. Just like eating food, YOU HAVE TO WEAR CLOTHES EVERY DAY WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT. SHIT’S JUST ONE OF THE MANY QUIRKS OF MODERN SOCIETY. Why not make the most mundane part of your day the most radical?

First off, the entire premise of someone arguing that they don’t care what they look like is wildly false. YOU WANT PEOPLE TO THINK YOU DON’T CARE BECAUSE YOU THINK NOT CARING IS COOLER THAN CARING. I mean, that kind of baseline argument is profoundly hilarious coming from a writer. The entire act of writing is pretty much choosing how to present yourself to the world. Saying you “…lack the perceptual machinery to understand what clothes mean-their connotations, what they say about me” is just admitting to your audience that you’re probably not that good of a writer. CLOTHING CAN BE A SYMBOL JUST LIKE MOBY DICK IS A SYMBOL, NAH MEAN?

Also, you can’t say something like that and then judge all the "regulars" at Freeman’s. I doubt any regular goes there because they want to be "rugged, but pretty." Already you’ve jumped to conclusions about Freeman’s based almost entirely on its aesthetic values. SOMETHING YOU JUST SAID YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF DOING. Men don’t need "…a place to be finicky and purposeful about how they look…” I AM THAT WAY REGARDLESS. And, much offense at labeling me "finicky" because I want my clothing to fit properly. It’s not finicky when you insist that particular item from Ikea fit in your apartment is it? SO WHY IS IT FINICKY THAT I WANT MY PANTS TO FIT? Men don’t need an excuse or a safe-haven to express their interests in clothing or in manliness. That shit is so fucking tired and relies far too heavily on the stereotypes and metrosexual branding of the early 2000’s. HAVE YOU BEEN ON THE INTERNET AT ALL IN THE PAST FOUR YEARS, MY DUDE?

Guys caring about their appearance has never not been a thing since forever. When are we finally going to get used to it?

I think the saddest thing about this article isn’t a 28-year-old grown as man man admitting that until 2009 he wore clothing chosen for him by his mom. Or that his "stylish" girlfriend thinks a striped shirt is for "heroin addicts". (Sidenote: The only heroin addict I’ve ever met wore FUBU. Exclusively.) It’s the fact that his girl was totally unsupportive of homeboy’s new look. HE COMES HOME WEARING A FUCKING TWEED SUIT AND A FRESH HITLER YOUTH CUT AND YOU DON’T LIKE IT? WHO’S THE HEROIN ADDICT NOW, ALICE? What if you came home with bangs and he was all like, “Nah, boo. Try again.”? I bet the repercussions would be more severe than you just contemplating going to parties by yourself. JUST REMEMBER, LEON, DRESS FOR YOURSELF FIRST. If shorties wanna drop compliments just smile and compliment them right back on their peplum game. For real, who is this Alice girlfriend character? I can't believe a real women actually agreed to let someone publish this factoid about her:

“In her opinion, it is simply not masculine to express yourself through your garments. It is better, she believes, for a man to look normal—which is to say, invisible.”


How does shit like "From Scruff to Buff" even get published in legit ass publications like M nowadays? I know dudes who have been ironing creases into their jeans for literally decades. DECADES! Guys caring about their appearance has never not been a thing since forever. When are we finally going to get used to it?