Following men’s fashion can be tough. Not one of these guys, it seems, has a discernible 9-5, opting instead to emerge from a lookbook smoldering, albeit two-dimensional, sitting in a cafe wearing a suit that was free, with an arm around a woman who once said “Hi” to you at a party in which you replied, “The."

But just because you’re paid to appear at a bogus assistant marketing assistant job and not at parties doesn’t mean you can’t live that luxe life. Picture a life where you are poor, yet rich; broke, but wealthed-up; always hungry, somehow usually intoxicated. Here's how it can all be yours.

Rachel Seville is a writer living in New York who believes in miracles. Read her blog, Pizza Rulez, here and follow her on Twitter here.