People have this grand delusion that when they go on vacation, they're going to travel half-way across the world, relax, and be the man. But if you look like a tourist, none of that is going to happen. You'll stick out like a sore thumb, get awful service everywhere you go, and have people continually try and play you like the sucker that you are.

To ensure you look like more of a fool, a brand has actually created a pair of pickpocket-proof pants. It sounds like a cool idea—face it, no one likes to get their shit taken, especially in a foreign country—but the brand, P^Cubed, just achieved the unthinkable: it actually made cargo pants even worse.

The pants don't only keep your valuables safe through an unnecessary system of pockets, they also can carry a bevy of tourist-related books in the back pocket. To top things off, the pants cost $110; you might not even have that much cash on you.

Whatever happened to the fanny pack as the signifier of being an out-of-towner? But if you want to look like Rick Steves, check out the pants here.