Whoa, check out these storm trooper high tops from Converse. Talk about all white everythang. I personally cannot wear all white sneakers because I like to eat my food with lots of condiments and I’m always dropping condiments onto the floor and my pristine footwear. Shit's no longer pristine when you’ve dropped ketchup and onions and some weird pickled vegetable that the hipster waiter recommended and obviously sriracha. If you are a more careful eater than me, I fully endorse these Chuck Taylors because they are relatively cheap and will look good with everythang (callback!). With these on you’ll look like a 20-something version of your 14-year-old self. Except the 14-year-old you hates the 20-something you. OUR DREAMS MIGHT HAVE DIED RIGHT ALONG WITH OUR WORK ETHIC, BUT AT LEAST WE STILL DRESS WELL.