The World's Steeziest Monuments

Image via Complex Original

The Washington Monument

For starters, there ain't nothing steezier than a big ol' dick. Moving on...

The Great Sphinx

Body of a lion, head of a man? FUCKING AMAZING, BRO. I can’t think of another animal I’d want for my body. As the oldest known monumental sculpture, The Great Sphinx is the OG of the monument set. Dude is missing his fucking nose and he’s still steezier than the rest of these wannabes. And they’re not even sure how he lost that shit! It’s like a mysterious scar that girls think you got protecting someone from a gang, but really your sibling just kicked the shit out of you that one time. Being Egyptian and ancient and mythical means that the Sphinx is part of the Illuminati and we know there’s NOTHING steezier than the Illuminati. This is a must see.

The Taj Mahal

Dude, a Mughal emperor built this joint in memory of his third wife. WHO REMEMBERS THEIR THIRD WIFE WITH A FUCKING JEWEL OF DESIGN AND ARCHITECTURE?! Mughal emperors, that’s who. It’s romantic as fuck. Did you know she died giving birth to their 14th child? FOURTEEN KIDS? COTDAMN, MY GUY. Also, that reflecting pool is perfect for next level selfies.

The Statue Of Liberty

First, it’s French, so old lady liberty is automatically cooler than most shitty made in the USA monuments. Second, see how drapey her gear is? Did Rick Owens design those vestments? That crown could be easily be Givenchy. Plus, it serves as a giant iron and copper reminder to the French that we came up with a working democracy before them. SUCK IT. But also, thanks for the cool monument, guys.

Cristo Redentor AKA Christ The Redeemer

THE ORIGINAL PRAYING HANDS EMOJI FOR ALL YOU SUCKAS.

Easter Island Moai

Primitivism is super popular amongst art school girls and the iconic Moai of Easter Island are primitive as fuck, assuming they aren't the work of aliens. Scholars still aren’t sure how the 13 ton statues were moved around the island and we all know mystery is an integral part to being steezy. Where’d you get that jacket? How is it made? You’ll never know and that’s why you’re so intrigued.

The Parthenon

The Parthenon is a temple dedicated to the goddess Athena, who is, like, the coolest of all the goddesses from my understanding. This was built using the golden ratio, which Trinidad James would say is the flyest ratio of all. Shout out to the British who straight ripped sculptures off the Parthenon and took them back to England AND STILL HAVE THEM ALL LIKE, “WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, GREECE?” Stealing shit and unabashedly displaying it in your national museums for the world to see is just like Instagramming dope stuff you don't own or didn't buy—really fucking cool.

The Eiffel Tower

The Eiffel Tower was, at one time, the tallest man-made structure in the world, designed and conceived as a part of the 1889 Exposition Universelle, which is French for a World’s Fair type joint celebrating the centennial of the French Revolution. OFF WITH THEIR FUCKING HEADS, AMIRITE? The raddest part of the tower? A whole bunch of French luminaries protested its construction, including Guy de Maupassant. When the father of the modern short story is a hater, you fucking made it, as far as ironwork odes to the intersection of modern science and industry with art and architecture are concerned. What’s steezier than proving a lil bitch like Guy de Maupassant wrong? Being the most visited paid-for monument in the world. THAT’S 7 MILLION PEOPLE FOR THE FRENCH TO COMPLAIN ABOUT WHILE THEY SMOKE THEIR CIGARETTES ON BREAK DURING THEIR 35 HOUR WORKWEEK.

The Great Wall Of China

Although not a monument per se, the Great Wall definitely fits in here as a cultural monument. Supposedly you can see this shit from space, but I’m calling shenanigans on that. Instead, realize all of the people who probably died while building this insane network of walls. Like anything dope, it probably cost a few people their souls.

Mount Rushmore

Let's wrap things up with what's, like, the Mount Rushmore of steezy monuments, bro.