You Freak Out Over the Way Shoes Are Laced
You're trying on the last pair of Black Royal 1s in a 9, even though you're a 10.5. "Nooooo! It's the right over the fucking left!" you yell out as Reggie weaves the black strings through the holes. But Reggie in his referee shirt doesn't hear the screams of your shoelace OCD. He just wants to write his employee number on the box and go have a smoke in the back room. Learn something from Reggie and RELAX. You can relace them when you get home.