The winds of trends come and go, but tattoos have been around forever. They have a deep history in many cultures and all that. You can Google that shit yourself, player. So right, even though these trends will come and they will go, Morrissey lyrics on your neck ain't going NOWHERE, friend. I have been zapped numerous times—maybe 44 times or so. I also worked as a shop lackey in Seattle at a reputable tattoo shop for a while. I've seen nearly everything you can imagine get tattooed on a person. I've seen the best and the worst designs tattooed onto every part of the body conceivable. Shit, I can guess what someone might want tattooed before they even opened their mouth. Tattoos say a lot about people, but mostly how idiotic we all are. Allow me to use my crystal ball and peer directly into the minds of the following individuals and determine what thoughts, if any at all, went into these permanent decisions of skin artistry. Hopefully these astute observations will serve as a primer for anyone that is interested in going under the needle anytime soon.