This. Is. A. Beard. Comb. I know, I didn’t realize my beard needed combing at all either. Everyone knows girls prefer your beard game to lean way more on the scary mountain murderer end of the spectrum. Like, it should appear as if you spent the last 8 months or so whaling at sea without any human contact. But if you are going to have a beard comb it should be handcrafted in Switzerland cause those motherfuckers got some of the most tangly ass beards in the game. Shout out to Baxter for introducing me to an entirely new genre of combs. All you moustache snobs who are incensed I didn't know anything about facial hair accessories can go fuck yourselves. New flash, no one takes you seriously.

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