6. You and your girlfriend look like a lesbian couple.
When people catch you in their peripheral vision, people often say "sorry miss." Except you're totally a dude. We understand, every other fucking guy has a side part now thanks to Don Draper and Jimmy Darmody, and you've been growing it out ever since. After all, now that the Biebs is opting for a shorter 'do, the mop top is slowly on its way back as a rebellious coiff. Your girl doesn't seem to mind, she actually kind of likes it. Except when you guys head to a bar—you in your gray Glen plaid suit, worn-in Chuck Taylors, and cashmere scarf, and her in a Proenza Schouler dress with coordinating PS1 bag and Isabel Marant sneakers, you're pretty much a doppelganger for Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi.