8. It takes you longer to comb your beard than your hair.
Whatever your reasons for growing a beard, one universal truth is that facial hair can be an absolute bitch to maintain. If you're the kind of dude that gets groomed at The Blind Barber or Freeman's Sporting Club, chances are you moved on from the urban lumberjack trend years ago and now favor mixing up a little tailored gear with your rugged flannels and well-worn selvedge jeans. No one can pull off the "blazer with beat-up Red Wing boots" look in the same way you can. Bonus points if you prefer importing Proraso over whatever inferior product they stock at the corner bodega.