Timofey Mozgov has reportedly agreed to a 4-year, $64 million contract with the Los Angeles Lakers. This is fine.
Before you leap to any rash judgments or WTFs regarding the enormity of the deal for the 29-year-old center, try treating the news like a bottle of fine Russian wine (call it Mozgov Blanc) you just uncorked and poured. Let it breathe, swish it around a bit, perhaps take a sniff, immerse yourself in the aroma, give it more breathing time. Okay, now take a sip of the smoky, yet smooth Mozgov Blanc. Now I ask: Is the Mozgov deal really that ridiculous? Especially given that the salary cap is exploding to $94 million next season and potentially $100 million by 2017-'18? (And considering however much the players make, the owners take home even that much more.)
In short, yes. It is absolutely insane. Know why? BECAUSE HE’S TIMOFEY FREAKIN’ MOZGOV!
This is a guy who posted 6 points and 4 rebounds per game last season (his lowest averages in five years) and sat firmly at the end of the Cavaliers bench for much of their playoff run. Despite that, the Russian Rough Rider is receiving a raise of $11.5 million with his annual salary more than tripling in the process. That’s like rewarding an employee who shows up late to work, loses important clients, and obnoxiously eats egg salad sandwiches for lunch every day, totally ignorant of the fact that everyone around him wants to vomit at the stench.
In the NBA, underperforming is the new overachieving, and in this year’s free agency period, players like the Mozgod will get disgustingly overpaid. To understand just how Hannibal Lecter Mozgov’s contract is, let’s see how it stacks up against those of other big-time athletes.
• In one season, Mozgov will earn more than Michael Jordan made in his first 8 seasons in the NBA (1984-1992)
• Mozgov will make more than Steph Curry in 2016-2017 ($12.1 million)
• In one season, Mozgov ($16 million) will earn nearly the same amount of money as Jordan and Pippen did ($16,710,000) combined during the Bulls’ first three-peat
• Timofey Mozgov’s annual salary exceeds the total payrolls of three MLB teams in 1998 (Marlins, Pirates, and Expos)
• Mozgov’s $16 million annual deal is more than Larry Bird made over his entire career
• The first NBA salary cap was set at $3.6 million in 1984-85, four and a half times less than what Mozgov is making in 2016-2017
• Over the course of his 4-year contract, Mozgov is set to make more guaranteed money than Cam Newton, Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, and Drew Brees during their current contracts
• Mozgov’s 4-year contract is more than the career earnings of Pete Sampras, Andy Murray, Andre Agassi, Victoria Azarenka and Kim Clijsters.
• In 2016-2017, Mozgov will make almost 19 times more money than Michael Jordan did in the first year he won the league’s Most Valuable Player award (1988- $845,000)
• Timofey Mozgov will earn more in 2016-2017 than Jordan Speith did on the golf course in 2015 (a year in which he won the Masters and U.S. Open and finished in the top four in the Open and PGA Championships)
• In 2016-2017, Timofey Mozgov will make more than Mike Trout is earning this season ($15.25 million) and will make triple what Bryce Harper is making in 2016 ($5 million).
• Timofey Mozgov will earn more in 2016-2017 than any of the Big 3 did in their first year with the Heat in 2010 (Bosh—$14.5, Wade—$14.2, LeBron—$14.5)
• In 2016-2017, Timofey Mozgov will make more than Kobe Bryant did the year he scored 81 points (2006—$15.9 million)
• Timofey Mozgov’s salary in 2016-2017 ($16 million) is way more than what the entire Chicago Bulls roster made in 1990-1991 (the first year they won a championship) $10,040,000. Heck, even including coach Phil Jackson
• With his $16 million annual salary, Mozgov can buy 11.5 million Doritos Locos Tacos, 3.2 million Subway five-dollar footlongs, 4 million McDonald’s Big Macs, 3.8 million Whoppers, or 3.2 million KFC $5 Fill Up boxes
