Cam Newton's career as an NFL quarterback has been an adventure into the unknown that's polarized a nation. Debate over how serviceable Newton's passing tends to extend into drivel on whether or not the guy can win playoff games. Thankfully, a wise elementary school student has stepped up. Below is the No. 1, end-all-be-all, definitive column—the most fire take in the history of Cam Newton hot takes.

Stop the presses. 

Get this writer a First Take contract, ASAP. Although, because he wasn't STRONG in his take—he relented, came full circle (never do this!), and admitted that the Panthers might not be good altogether—how he'd "embrace debate" remains to be seen. 

No word on if the kid who penned the piece is the same one who's coming for Newton's job:

Watch your back, Cam.

Send all complaints, compliments, and tips to sportstips@complex.com.

[via For The Win]