Johnny Manziel has done his fair share of stupid things over the course of the last two years. But did he really stick his, well, you know between a hot dog bun last Christmas Eve and text a picture of it to a woman named Samantha Schacher who works for Dr. Drew? And then, did he tell that same woman that he wanted to see her strip at LeBron James' house in Miami? And finally, did he tell the woman that he would like her to be "his Linda Lovelace on Deep Throat"?

HA. Uhhhhhhh…we're going to go with "No." But according to a $25 million lawsuit that was reportedly filed earlier this month—which may or may not actually be real (we're leaning towards "may not")—Johnny Football did all of those things…and more! The lawsuit, which you can read below, alleges that Manziel basically found 500 different ways to get himself into trouble and then did all of them. The "lawsuit" is a joke. One long joke.

Manziel's agent Erik Burkhardt has already come out and said that everything in the lawsuit is a lie:

And while we know better than to trust agents and lawyers who represent pro athletes, we believe him. Because the stuff in the lawsuit is so far-fetched that it's hard to take any of it seriously. Go ahead and give it a look:

WTF?!

UPDATE:

As we thought, the lawsuit is nothing more than a hoax:

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[via The Big Lead]