Peyton Manning, Alex Rodriguez, and LeBron James were all nationally derided for being ringless before they all won championships. But that hasn't pulled the national media monkey out of their asses. Now it's a second title, steroids, and Jordan's legacy, respectively holding them down. That's because setting those nigh-impossible standards is apparently the best way to appeal to a large audience.

To watch them continuously falter against unreal expectations is better than watching them achieve everything imaginable. After all, the reason that none of us are playing in the pros is because we failed time and time again in the amateur ranks. To watch the best who ever lived fall on the national stage is comforting to all of us who sucked on levels only Jenna Jameson can relate to.