Ah, ’90s playground sports. I love it. I love it a lot. Showing off on the playground with how good I thought I was at sports defined every single recess for me. I was an only child, which means I didn’t have brothers or sisters or friends to compete against, so I thrived on the daily playground rivalries. I would play almost anything if there was a sliver of a chance of victory. I say almost because as you read through this list, you’ll see which sports were and always will be a stupid waste of time. Some of you probably loved those games and might strongly disagree with my opinions, which is totally fine because this is the Internet and I’ll probably never meet you in real life. And if I do, well, I’ll lie. I’ll lie a bunch.