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You're at a club, you're with your friends and you're having a good time. All a sudden Brian Scalabrine comes in waving his big rock, and the club takes notice. Dudes pull out their smartphones and start trolling for pictures, while the more subtle men take stealth shots. Whatever girl you were talking to bails for the newly crowned king. Congrats, you've just experienced a downfall of living in a big city.

There's a few things that separate the athlete club experiencee from yours/ours. For one, they arrive with fellow players and celebrities in tow. We show up with family, friends and coworkers, all of whom constantly make us wish we were rich and famous. Two, when they show up at the club the prestige rises. While you wait in line for a $20 cover they get a roped off VIP section and complimentary drinks/house bottle service nightly. Some dude wearing a jersey with their name on it offers to buy drinks because of that [insert big shot, hit, catch, or goal]. Three, they've never had to wait around for the 2 AM bottom of the barrel. While you're trying to discern whether or not that's an Adam's apple, they've high-tailed it for a limo ride with porn star lookalikes. And we mean that as a compliment. Good porn stars. The type that make this list.

All good reason to bounce if you see a pro sportsman role in. Don't stick around and pester them for pictures. You're a grown man. Don't worry about being pictured with other grown men (though don't let that stop you from snapping a pic for DrunkAthlete.com). Plus if you're with your girlfriend, there's something about a famous dude waving massive amounts of cash around that makes a data entry specialist look less accomplished. Just a friendly heads-up. Anyway, here's Your Favorite Athletes Clubbing.

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