Sport: Football
Team: Chicago Bears
Hateful lowlight: It's more of a complete body of work, really

Jay Cutler is an athlete that's annoyed by his own physical ability. Like, he wishes he could just be an Abercrombie & Fitch store manager, but he can chuck a football 75 yards so he's pained by a career in the NFL. Bears fans hate Jay Cutler and Jay Cutler hates Bears fans, even though they need each other. He's a pouty teenage mall girl with a bad One Direction haircut, which makes him look especially clownish when he's screaming at an offensive coordinator or recently flagged lineman. You know when an 8-year-old kid asks for an autograph, this stroke rolls his eyes and scribbles on a Nerf football before dropping the Sharpie on the sidewalk and walking away silently. We totally hope he doesn't get sacked 60 times this season.