Tebow to Patriots: God's Quarterback Joins Satan's Team

Tebow to Patriots: God's Quarterback Joins Satan's Team

If what's being reported is true, then the New England Patriots—America's Most Likeable Professional Sports Franchise—just got more likeable. Or "likeable." 

Yes, folks, Tim Tebow...

[a.k.a. Teebuz Christ a.k.a. TIMMEH! a.k.a. God's Son (Not-Nas) a.k.a. Tim-Dog a.k.a. Rev. Tebow a.k.a. I Can't Believe It's Not Butterfingers) a.k.a. Played for New York in and Is Still Afraid to Eat Pizza* a.k.a. Tebow Grease a.k.a. TebowTebowTebowTebowTebow a.k.a. T-I-M Not T-O-M

...is now signed to the New England Patriots.

As a quarterback.

For the upcoming season. Not two seasons ago, or one season ago, but this one. See here:

Things to know:

Yet, the real and most crucial takeaway here is that nobody knows exactly how Tebow's going to fit in there yet, or what it's going to be like when he does. But he is reporting to a mini-camp, and if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that this is all you will hear about on ESPN for the next week, the NBA Finals not withstanding. 

More on ESPN, where everyone is having an aneurysm right now.

[*Not factually verifiable but certainly in the realm of possibility.]

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Tags: tim-tebow, new-england-patriots, new-york-jets, wtf-football
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