Baby Mama: Tyna Robertson
Brian Urlacher's baby momma, Tyna Robertson, had an $11M judgment filed against her for making false sexual assault allegations against Lord of the Dance, Michael Flately. Yeah, let that one sink in for a second. Those actions alone are reason enough to pin Robertson to this list, but it actually gets worse. In 2008, she made a plea in court to bar Urlacher from seeing their son because the former Bears linebacker painted the child's toenails and allowed him to rock Cinderella pull-up diapers. Between Urlacher's decision to date Paris Hilton and father a child with this crazy bat, the debilitating effects of repeated head trauma have never appeared more obvious.