Dwight Howard has been in the NBA for nine years now, and its still unclear whether he wants to be a superstar or a superhero. Shaq managed to both, but Shaq is Shaq and Dwight Howard clearly isn't, no matter how similar the résumé.

So with that ring remaining out of reach, it's time Dwight gave up on the former and put his considerable energy behind the latter. Be a superhero, Dwight. It's what you really want. As a member of the Disney family, you can not only be goofy, you can be Goofy. A deal for Jiminy Cricket would work under the cap (Disney can throw in Baloo's expiring contract), and Jiminy might even do Kobe some good - until he gets squished during the first week of training camp.