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We were highly, highly amused at the over-aggressive antics of New Mexico soccer player Elizabeth Lambert in her match last weekend. Oh female athletes, you're just like the guys. *Pats heads of female athletes patronizingly*
But then we caught wind of an all-female soccer brawl in Rhode Island earlier this week. What the bloodclot? Maybe we haven't been watching lady jocks—we mean other than these—closely enough. So, we went back into the archives to find the gulliest chicks in sports from years past. See below for some seriously brolic bee-yotches...

WNBA BRAWL: DETROIT VS. L.A.
WHO: Plenette Pierson & Candace Parker, basketball players
WHAT HAPPENED: Detroit's Pierson gets hit in the chest by L.A.'s Parker in one of the most memorable moments in WNBA history. Wow, that's saying a lot.

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MARY DECKER HAS A NICE TRIP
WHO: Zola Budd, South African runner
WHAT HAPPENED: During the 3000-meter race in the 1984 Olympics, Zola Budd clipped Mary Decker, leaving her rival down and out with an injured hip. Accidental? Only Budd knows for sure, but she gets gangsta cred for running barefoot. WTF!?!?!

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NANCY KERRIGAN GETS CLUBBED
WHO: Tonya Harding, figure skater
WHAT HAPPENED: In one of the most brazen acts in sports history, Tonya Harding hires a goonie to whack Kerrigan in the knee with a crowbar. Ouch! We'd rather be forced to watch Tonya's sex tape...uh, actually, go ahead and hit us on the knee.

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WATER POLO GIRL FIGHT
WHO: Elise Windes, U.S.A. water polo
WHAT HAPPENED: Words of wisdom to water polo ladies worldwide: Don't fuck with Elise.

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COMPTON MEETS THE U.S. OPEN
WHO: Serena Williams, tennis player
WHAT HAPPENED: Fuck the uproar, we want to see Serena like this more often. Shoving balls down throats? Oh my!

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DANICA EATS TOWEL
WHO: Milka Duno, Venezuelan driver
WHAT HAPPENED: When Duno hits the white girl with a dose of that Latina sass, Danica has no response. We see shit like this on the A train every day, people.

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GOSSIP GIRLS GET GULLY
WHO: Serena and Blair, field hockey players
WHAT HAPPENED: Can you two just kiss and make up already? SERIOUSLY. Kiss and make up!

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