4. Thou Shalt Not Put Sneakers Above Thy Family and Friends
Modern Interpretation: Hey. You. Yeah, you. Put the sneakers down for a minute, log off NikeTalk and look around. See those other shapes that look sort of like you? Those are other people. You should consider talking to them sometime, and not just to ask for the car keys and a lawn chair so you can go sleep in front of Foot Action again. Also, if it's reached the point where you're stacking your boxes to look like furniture because you don't actually have any, it's time to re-prioritize before you get disowned/divorced/set on fire.