A 53-year-old man in Spartanburg, South Carolina went to jail this week after he called 911 to report that his girlfriend didn't feel like having sex with him.
And even if you honestly believe that this man was experiencing an emergency worthy of law enforcement intervention, it really doesn't matter anyway because he was arrested for public drunkenness, not for abusing the 911 system.
Rather than try to rewrite perfection, here's the short and highly entertaining police report in its entirety via The Smoking Gun.
On 10/6/15 at 0019 hrs, Officer Washington responded to 735 Fairfax St in reference to a domestic disturbance. Upon arrival the door to the residence was open and Mr Patrick Doggett was outside drinking a alcoholic beverage. Mr. Doggett stated he called 911 because his girlfriend, Ms Faye Woodruff, would not give him any ass. He then turn towards the house and begins to yell, "Fuck that bitch." Mr. Doggett was placed under arrest for public drunk and transported to the county jail. Ms. Woodruff states that Mr Doggett has been drinking all day and didn't know where he was at. She further states he got into bed and wanted to have sex with her but she had her grandchild with her. He got up and then called 911.
Hopefully this guy's nonsense isn't keeping first responders away from true emergencies, such as this guy's farts.
