A Pennsylvania man desperate to avoid arrest failed miserably at doing so when he tried to cover himself in dog poop to repel police.
WNEP reports that police in Wilkes-Barre, Pa. saw 45-year-old Maurice Franklin hop off the curb, into the street, and in front of moving vehicles on Monday evening. After approaching Franklin, his slurred speech indicated why he did that: he was drunk. However, as they tried to take him into custody, he stopped, dropped, and rolled—in dog shit.
When asked why, exactly, he did that, Franklin reportedly told them that they wouldn't dare arrest a man covered in shit. Oh, how wrong he was.
Franklin was charged with public drunkenness. When he sobered up (and, hopefully, aired out), he was released.