Air Date: Dec. 11, 1976
Starring: Dan Aykroyd, Candice Bergen

Pretty Peggy Ear Piercing Set, Mr. Skin Grafter, Doggy Dentist—if you were ever looking for dangerous toys for your kids to injure (or kill) themselves with, Irwin Mainway's products were the end all, be all. Starring Dan Aykroyd as the creepy, Mafioso-like Mainway, this sketch exploited the totally blind curiosity you once had as a kid.

The thing we love most about this bit is the fact that some of these toys actually worked (and no, we aren't talking about the generic, albeit hilarious, Bag Of Glass). Take Johnny Switchblade, for instance: When Candice Bergen pushed the top of the doll, two blades popped out on the sides. Talk about things that would have been useful in those fistfights you were in during elementary school.