Distinguishing features: Misspelled tattoo; muscle T-shirt; shattered bottle of domestic beer in hand 

The Tough Guy walks the crowded confines of a bar looking for elbows to bump and, consequently, an excuse to throw drunken haymakers. His justification for delivering clumsy right crosses will range from "don't talk shit!" to "Go Celtics!" So, don't even try reasoning with this testosterone-addled lunatic. If he's bigger than you, stun him with a Fireball shot to the face and sweep his leg like a beer-buzzed Mortal Kombat fighter. Just joking. Run like hell. This dude's duffed out a million little weirdos like you, so book it to the nearest emergency exit, posthaste.