Today, the New York City Department of Health announced much-needed upgrades to NYC Condoms, the city's official form of protection.
According to Gothamist, the Department of Health said that upgrades include a new wrapper and an additional size. "The new NYC Condom wrapper will be blue and more prominently feature the LifeStyles® brand name to emphasize that they are the same high-quality LifeStyles® product available in stores," the DOH explained in a press release.
"In addition, New Yorkers will now for the first time be able to choose the NYC “KYNG” Condom, an extra-large LifeStyles® condom branded with the NYC Condom logo. Both are currently in production and will be available throughout the city this summer."
Many have complained about the condoms, alleging that they're about as delightful as a cold shower. Also, are the "KYNG" Condoms not an obvious reference to the King of New York? Are officials secretly, yet not-so-secretly fans of Abel Ferrara and Christopher Walken?
Anyway, enjoy Valentine's Day (and night), and get ready for the coming of better NYC Condoms. It's going to be a hot summer.