What's a bad day look like for former rapper/underwear model turned super actor Mark Wahlberg? In terms of a character like Marcus Luttrell in the new Wahlberg movie Lone Survivor (in theaters this weekend), a bad day is a violent firefight in the hills of Afghanistan.
For the real Mark Wahlberg, though? This is a tough guy from a rough'n'tumble part of Boston. He got into some shit as a young man but has channeled that tumultuous period into an impressive acting career defined by performances of mounting rage. Presumably dude still gets angry. (Which is just what SNL lampooned him for with its bizarre skit where he yells at animals.) But what sets off a Hollywood actor these days? Here's a theory.
While prepping his morning coffee, Mark turns on the television to find a rerun of SNL's "Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals" sketch.
But why wouldSaturday Night Live be airing at 7 in the morning? This makes no sense and Mark is confused.
So he runs to the airport and hops on a private jet to New York...
...and demands to see a frightened Lorne Michaels.
Mark's assistant, Bob, attempts to alert him that NBC has called security.
The NYPD arrives to defuse the situation. Mark isn't convinced that they aren't strippers.
During questioning, they ask Mark if he was planning to harm Lorne.
He gets upset at the news that they might detain him longer for not cooperating with an officer.
Finally, they let him see Lorne so he can unload.
On the street, he runs into Will Ferrell and begins to question him on why he wasn't included in the slew of guest appearances in Anchorman 2.
The meeting is interrupted by a call from good friend Martin Sheen, who calls Mark in to intervene during a meeting between him and his son, Charlie. Again.
Instead of going straight home, a thunderstorm keeps him in NYC.
At the hotel, he's staying at for the night, the concierge tells him they've run out of bubble bath.
To work off the stress of his bad day, he does upside down sit-ups on his hotel balcony.
And caps the night off with a box of Corn Pops. And that is how you tame Mark Wahlberg.