Expert knowledge of: Lighting; angles; Instagram filters
Publication that needs it most: TMZ

As the DIY portrait becomes increasing popular, it's about time we tasked someone with identifying and analyzing proper selfie form. It's an art and there are levels to this shit. Does the image obey the rule of thirds? Is the subject well lit and posing in front of a textured background? Is someone jumping off of a bridge behind the participant? We need rules.