Monopoly might be a great, classic board game, but who wants to own Park Place and Boardwalk when you could own Coca-Cola, McDonalds and Xbox and EA?

That’s basically the gist of Monopoly Empire, Hasbro’s latest marketing-happy abomination. Basically it plays like the classic real estate trading game, except the goal here – and I couldn’t even make this up – is to “own the world’s biggest brands” by building the largest most soul-sucking (read: profitable) corporate tower and crushing your competition.

According to the Monopoly Empire website: “Every space on the board is an iconic brand, including Xbox, Coca-Cola, McDonald's and Samsung! Splash your Monopoly cash to build your Empire tower as high as it can go.” Among tokens you can play as are the Xbox controller and a box of McDonald’s French fries (and if this isn’t proof the Occupiers lost, I don’t know what is).

Congratulations, America! You’ve really shown where our priorities should be. Here’s to the continuing golden age of the corporation.

Via Consumerist