The bar floors are sticky, the drinks are watered down, and the air is permeated with Axe body spray and petrified vomit. To the rest of the world, he's just a college town "lifer" who extracts tapeworms from keg lines for a living. But he can pull rank to get a free round Jello shots, and that makes him intensely popular with the Tri Delts. Universities boast Nobel Prize winners and Rhodes scholars, but none of them are as popular as the guy who can pull a group freezing Kappa Deltas to the front of the wrap-around line on "Thirsty Thursday." And that's pretty douchey.