It was right here, in front of us, the whole time. Could it be any more obvious? This dance club, located in the heart of Chicago's north side is literally called Illuminati. Literally. If there is a baseless crackpot theory about the New World Order to be believed, it probably isn't this one, but hey, don't be surprised if you see a few scary-looking dudes in suits getting their freak on inside here. They're the owners, and not just of the club—of our destiny. And they're right here, in plain sight, gyrating to a song about throwing wads of cash at strippers.