Image via Complex Original
It's time to dine. You've got a massive plate of something delicious before you, but it isn't complete without some heat. That massive bottle of Frank's Red Hot sauce isn't cutting it anymore. Tabasco, Sriracha, and those tiny packets of bland hot sauce that accompany your take-out orders are great, but you need to expand your horizons.
Upgrade to a more varied assortment of chilis and become the hot sauce aficionado you always wanted to be. Start from the bottom of the Scoville heat scale, and work your way up. Whether you're an adventurous eater who enjoys being up on what's hot (literally and figuratively) or you're just looking to up the intensity on your average meal, there's a sauce out there for you.
Life is too short to go mild: You should consume each of these 25 awesome hot sauces before you die.
RELATED: 50 Places to Have Sex Before You Die
RELATED: 100 Beers to Try Before You Die
RELATED: The 50 Best Candies From Around the World
RELATED: First We Feast - 10 Sauces Everyone Should Know How to Make
25. Iguana Red Cayenne Pepper Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 430
If a spicy chicken sandwich from a fast food joint leaves you in tears, we suggest starting with this subtle sauce.
24. Bee Sting Pineapple Guava Pepper Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 100 - 1,000
Both sweet and spicy—it's the ying and yang of hot sauces.
23. Valentina Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 100 - 1,000
Because you have a weak palette, but still need some flavor.
22. Cholula Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 3,600
This brand has been around for generations, but has yet to lose its "Flavorful Fire" moniker for a reason.
21. Micanopy Gold Mild Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 2,500 - 5,000
For the chili heads who like the heat to creep up on them.
20. Crazy Mother Pucker's Liquid Lava Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 6,240
Featuring aged red peppers, garlic, and chili extract, this sauce will have you making a duck face as soon as it touches your lips.
19. Orange Krush The Habanero Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 9,600
With a name like "Orange Krush" this concoction may remind you of something sweet, but the habanero will kick your unsuspecting ass.
18. Crazy Jerry's Brain Damage Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 11,000
Not the best option if you need to stay lucid. The perfect option if you want to turn it up.
17. Lottie's Traditional Barbados Yellow
Scoville Heat Units: 15,000 - 30,000
If you can't take a trip to the West Indies, some of this Bajan sauce will help you feel the Caribbean heat.
16. Tahiti Joe's Ahi of Kahuna XX Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 15,000 - 30,000
Habaneros, vinegar, clam juice, parmesan and romano cheese—somehow it all works.
15. Blair's Heat Wasabi Green Tea Exotic Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 30,000 - 50,000
Spicy foods and green tea are known to rev up your metabolism, so pour it on thick.
14. Endorphin Rush Beyond Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 53,500
If extreme heat brings you happiness, get this on your plate.
13. Matouk's West Indian Salsa Picante Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 50,000 - 100,000
It'll give you the kind of burn you'll appreciate.
12. Blair's Heat Habanero Mango Exotic Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 50,000 - 100,000
Send your taste buds on a vacation with this mix.
11. Melinda's Chipotle Habanero Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 50,000 - 100,000
We won't judge you if you carry this essential hot sauce around with you.
10. Bone Suckin' Habanero Sauce Hiccupin' Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 50,000 - 100,000
Drink your recovery glass of water upside down to stop the inevitable hiccup marathon.
9. Crazy Jerry's Mustard Gas Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 125,000
A gas mask is optional, but recommended.
8. Frostbite
Scoville Heat Units: 500,000 - 600,000
The first of its kind, this white hot sauce is water soluble, making it the perfect way to spike a drink with some heat.
7. Satan's Blood Chile Extract
Scoville Heat Units: 800,000
This viscous (and vicious) sauce is a food additive that can be used to add heat, but not overpower the flavor of your dish. It's also a favorite of the Illuminati.
6. Black Mamba Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 800,000 - 1,000,000
We aren't sure what's more likely to be fatal—getting bitten by a Black Mamba, or tasting a few drops of this stuff.
5. Melinda's Naga Jolokia Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 1,041,427
The main ingredient of this sauce is the Naga Jolokia, better known as the world's hottest chili. Good look finding your tongue after a drop of this stuff.
4. CaJohn's Lethal Ingestion Bhut Jolokia Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 1,075,000
Something is gonna kill you, it may as well be food.
3. Blair's Ultra Death Hot Sauce
Scoville Heat Units: 1,100,000
Apparently folks in Jersey like it hot. Hailing from the Garden State, this sauce is 800 times hotter than a jalapeno. Dilute it before you use it.
2. The Source
Scoville Heat Units: 7,100,000
This shit comes with instructions. We suggest you read them.
1. Blair's 16 Million Reserve
Scoville Heat Units: 16,000,000
This will probably be the sauce that takes you out. If you manage to find some, save it for your last meal.