When you disappear on your significant other for days, there's going to be hell to pay. Toni Braxton can confirm that. That is, unless you come up with a good excuse for your absence. Rahmell Pettway didn't; he told his girlfriend that he had been kidnapped. He is not a smart man.

The NYPD described the 36-year-old Pettway as a "career criminal," thus explaining the route he took for coming up with an excuse for his absence. He was discovered by police between two cars in Harlem looking as if he'd been on the business end of a beatdown. His mouth, feet and hands had all been bound with duct tape.

At first, he told police that he couldn't remember what happened to him. Then, he explained that he was kidnapped in Brooklyn by two men in a mini-van. Police were enthralled by this fable—until they noticed the duct tape roll was still attached to his wrist. He would later confess to lying about the entire ordeal.

One painfully honest law enforcement source called Pettway "a total moron." He was arrested and charged with filing a false report, but still has to face the wrath of his girlfriend. May God be with him.

[via Gawker]