A pat on the back, a condescending smile, an encouraging word. All of these things boil down to one emotion: pity. If she treats you like a puppy who didn’t get the last piece of steak on the table, or like a kid who lost his favorite baseball in the gutter, you've failed. You were so far from the finish line that you’re getting the consolation prize—her sympathy. This might be the right time to buy that Kama Sutra workshop on Groupon.