The Internet was rocked yesterday when someone claiming to be "known in and around NYC" for his "somewhat famous restaurant in the meatpacking district" and multiple Food Network specials made a shocking confession via Craigslist: "I farted on every single one of my 37 employees."
The anonymous chef explained his mission of flatulence in great detail. "I had to fart on everyone that works for me, and write it all in a log book so that I can keep track," he explained. There were rules to the game:
The targets had to be aware of the fart; they had to be farted upon in alphabetical order; and "at least 80%" had to express revulsion at having been farted upon, otherwise the farting would continue.
The farting chef wasn't completely amoral. You see, he couldn't just fart on anybody with a clear conscience. "Some people I couldn't just directly fart on, like my accountant, shes a sweet girl," he said. He says he plans to "post the story of every single persons very own and original fart every night for 37 nights."
His story, like every great story, must be told. It's still unknown how accurate these farting chronicles are, but they'll surely make an interesting read.