Let's get this straight: You're flying out of Minneapolis on December 26 but you're wearing open-toed sandals without socks and cargo shorts from Old Navy. It's below freezing. Everyone else is dressed like they live in Minneapolis in the dead of winter—because they do—but you're stuffed in a Hawaiian shirt like a 7th grader circa 1999 who only wants to boogie to Lou Bega. Oh, you're going to Orlando? Now it makes sense. We hope Chip and Dale ignore your children.
The Eager Tourist