Hikers in west Texas have been subjected to terror in the form of a naked caveman. Chris Redfearn says he was climbing McKelligon Canyon in El Paso over the weekend when a caveman appeared, stark naked, and scared him off. Others who live in apartments near the man's campsite say they've witnessed him bathing in their laundry room and working out on a jungle gym. That doesn't make people feel safe.

The man refuses to provide a name, but says he isn't bothering anyone. "I'm sin free in every city. I'm baptized and saved. I'm up here, I'm not sinning. I could be in the alley way. I could be a drug addict. I'm none of those." The naked drifter says he dines on "dumpster buffets," eats at fast food restaurants, and donates plasma for extra cash. He's been calling the cave home for three years, and says he has no plans to leave in the near future. As for those concerned about him, his nudity and their safety, he tells them to mind their own business.

This could (and should) be a future episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

[via NY Daily News