Everybody knows TED Talks. The <30 min viral videos of luminaries and intellectuals explicating one thought-provoking issue or another have become a familiar totem in popular culture over the past few years. But whereas the talks once engendered enthusiasm and sparked debate with an impressive rate of frequency, these days they've begun to feel a little like a parody of themselves, with ever more speakers pontificating on finer and finer slivers of ideas. Pushing the issue fully into the realm of parody is the Onion, who has announced that it will begin its own series of TED spoofs called "Onion Talks" beginning Oct. 17. Starting next week, tune in to the Onion's YouTube channel to watch riveting speeches about things that "every goddamn asshole already knows." Plus there's a dog eating a pie on stage.