Original Air Date: January 23, 2010
Director: Rosemary Rodriguez
Stars: Thora Birch, Madisen Beaty, David Clayton Rogers
Lesson Learned: Underage motherhood is best left to the chicks on Teen Mom.

As we've mentioned in the past, whether it's i-dosing or vodka eyeballing, teens are never at a loss for ridiculous ways to temporarily elude reality. In this case, however, the entourage of pregnant Gloucester High chicks egging their friend on to get knocked up to "complete the circle" are pretty clearly on another planet already.

Thora Birch stars as alum Sidney Bloom, who's investigating the recent spike in teen pregnancies after the school's rate rises from 10 to 18 in a matter of weeks. The lack of contraception, as the always entertaining Camryn Manheim (who plays the school's nurse) points out, isn't especially helping. Also not helping: creepy aspirations of Stepford wife-dom at age 15.