Fuck zombies—leprechauns appear to be the next threat facing the nation. Seattle police responded to the report of a bar fight last Saturday to find a bloodied man clutching his head and screaming his pain. When asked who did this to him, he offered a shocking answer: “It was a bunch of leprechauns.”
Yes, leprechauns are out of season, but the man claims a group of pissed off little guys beat him down for dancing with a woman at the bar. The man was taken to a hospital, and police have not made any arrests as of yet.
Leprechaun violence isn’t far-fetched, especially if you’ve seen Leprechaun in the Hood. Leprechauns are presumably expert fugitives, you know, where their being small and all.