Great job, Hov. Thanks to your inflammatory remarks about the legendary Hammer—an artist who had the wherewithal to actually stick out the (perhaps involuntary) process of retirement—the ‘90s one-hit-wonder staple has extended his celebrity utilizing the most gimmicky, blog-headline-grabbing tactics possible.
His latest “project?” A “deep search” engine: a bold term, even for a man who gleefully sported a banana hammock in one of his music videos.
Hammer has announced the search engine, titled “WireDoo” (and you thought “deep search” was a bit juvenile) at the Web 2.0 Summit in San Francisco.
Hammer criticized WireDoo’s alleged competition, Google, explaining that WireDoo functions differently than most search engines that incorrectly focus on links and keywords. You see, WireDoo functions on something called a “relationship search.” (Writer invents forehead-slapping machine to free up a hand for the duration of reporting on the rest of this story.)
“It’s about relationships beyond just the keywords,” said Hammer straight-facedly, on a stage, which was probably enough cause for Hammer to pretend like what he was about to say was important, him being likely fresh off an appearance as a fatherless nephew’s mentor on Occupation Day at a local junior high.
WireDoo is apparently in pre-beta, which I guess exists as a stage in technology development in MC Hammer’s mind. But the project has allegedly been under development for two years, so who knows, maybe MC Hammer becomes the black Steve Jobs, and completes the most unlikely of all comebacks in the face of public disbelief…
All with a product named “WireDoo.” Then again, looking back at some teenagers wearing Hammerpants, stranger things have happened.