1. INSIDE (2008)
Really, any chance to show love to Inside is welcomed, but the fact that it’s technically a home invasion movie makes it the only logical choice for top ranking here. Arguably the best horror film of the last decade, this French shocker has it all: unbelievable gore for the bloodhounds, spot-on performances and stylistic direction for cinematic purists, and a quick, 80-minute length for those with the attention span of a sock.
It’s also one of the only films in recent memory to make us cover our eyes more than once, proving that even the most experienced and numbest of horror lovers can still be pushed beyond his or her limits. In other words, we shriek like female dogs every time we watch the damn thing.
Inside, written and directed by Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury, starts off simply enough. A depressed pregnant woman decides to stay home alone on Christmas Eve to mourn her lover’s recent death via car accident, when a mysterious woman (who’s kind of hot, in a psychotic way) invades the premise and says that she wants our protagonist’s unborn baby—that’s right, this Woman in Black wants to cut the fetus out, no anesthesia. What transpires is a downward spiral of butchered family members, blown-off cop faces, and a C-section with scissors, amongst other extreme brutality.
If you’ve never seen Inside, and what we’ve just said has enticed your inner sicko, here’s some advice: Just buy the “unrated” DVD and avoid any rental discs, since pussy-footed censors refused to allow the movie’s uncut rawness to be Blockbuster accessible. We’ll never call French people “soft” again.